Michael Jr. is a popular Christian comedian based in the United States. If you’re looking for clean but nonetheless comedy this is your guy. He’s also had a stint in acting in the number one Kendrick Brothers movie War Room.
You may want to check out his podcast Off the Cuff to have a good laugh and learn some important things.
Here are 37 of some his funny and insightful life quotes:
- “You just have to be willing to take your eyes off of yourself and look at the people around you to find that opportunity to serve.” ~ Michael Jr.
- “Sometimes it’s the simple things that help make a relationship stick. Like Elmer’s glue.” ~ Michael Jr.
- “Is it ok to regift a gift card as long as there’s still a little something on it?” ~ Michael Jr.
- “You don’t know your potential, so you have to be uncomfortable to grow your potential.” ~ Michael Jr.
- “If I make five billion people laugh in my lifetime and that’s all, I would have failed.” ~ Michael Jr.
- “Sometimes you have to jump in, even if you don’t fit in, just to get in.” ~ Michael Jr.
- “If you’re attracted to someone of a different ethnicity, are you having mixed feelings?” ~ Michael Jr.
- “If the baby comes out with an afro, is that natural child birth?” ~ Michael Jr.
- “You’re going to leave something behind. You may as well make sure it’s something good.” ~ Michael Jr.
- “Do vegetarians really love animals as much as I do?” ~ Michael Jr.
“They say 85% of people admit they are not good at math. I’m part of the other 22%.” ~ Michael Jr.
- “Can I call a white duck a quacker?” ~ Michael Jr.
- “Why are there no mirrors in the self-checkout?” ~ Michael Jr.
- “If you don’t understand your purpose you will think you are an accident. If you think you’re an accident, you don’t understand your purpose.” ~ Michael Jr.
- “I think congressmen should wear body cameras. We pay their salary, we should be able to see their work.” ~ Michael Jr.
- “If we only use 10% of our brain, how do we really know if we’re only using 10% of our brain?” ~ Michael Jr.
- “When someone says you’re unbelievable, aren’t they calling you a liar?” ~ Michael Jr.
- “I don’t understand why people say hurtful things like, ‘Wanna go for a run?’ or ‘Try this Kale.’” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “What doesn’t get done at work today can often be done tomorrow. But what doesn’t get done at home today, that time is gone forever.” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “If I have written two books and one of them sells better than the other one, is that other book technically the best seller?” ~ Michael_Jr.
“When you can’t say the phrase ‘I forgive’ without adding the phrase ‘but I won’t forget’ you actually haven’t forgiven.” ~ Michael Jr.
- “Christianity is like playing tennis. You won’t be good at it if you don’t know how to serve… it always starts with love.” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “People should stop trying to get their act together because at the end of the day, you’re just acting.” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “If you really believed God had your back, you would stop putting on a front.” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “Stop waiting on the perfect situation and go make the situation perfect.” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “When you know your why, your what becomes more clear and impactful.” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “Is Jesus always the answer? What if the question is ‘who stole my $15?’” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “If you say you’re going to do ‘Beach ministry’ by anointing yourself with oil and offering yourself as burnt sacrifice.. you’re probably oversaved.” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “If a woman gets pregnant in Vegas, does the baby have to stay there?” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “When all the jewelry you own is shaped like a cross or a fish.. you’re probably oversaved.” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “If you make your kids play Peter says instead of Simon says.. you’re probably oversaved.” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “Life’s too short to spend getting mad about the little stuff. Forgive, forget, and press on.” ~ Michael_Jr.
“If you have a genesis instead of a birthday.. you may be oversaved.” ~ Michael Jr.
- “If you try to multiply your leftovers instead of buying new food.. you may be oversaved.” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “Middle names, for when you want someone to know they’re in trouble.” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “Why does the term ‘fat chance’ mean there’s actually a very small chance?” ~ Michael_Jr.
- “If you only have sheets on your bed because Jesus is your comforter you might be oversaved.” ~ Michael_Jr.