Communication, Sex, and Money are three of the biggest challenges in a marriage and overcoming is monumental. Ed Cole wrote this book on-demand because it turned out to be a big area of concern.
Regarding communication, men tend to deal with issues at the surface level while women want detail. Men desire sex more than women and to seek pleasure instead of seeking to give it.
When it comes to money this is where most problems arise and in some cases leading to divorce. Dr. Cole’s book addresses all these different areas from a Biblical perspective to help married couples.
Here are 40 of his quotes from his book on these subjects:
1. “As men, we need to understand that God made men and women unique, to be different from all other creatures- and from each other.” ~ Ed Cole
One of the challenging things in marriage relationships is for a man and woman to understand each other. Most issues are a result of communication breakdowns between the two parties involved more than anything else. With a good understanding of each other and the right communication strategies, more marriages would be a lot more prosperous.
Realizing and embracing the differences between you and your partner is a crucial starting point in your relationship. Oftentimes problems arise when you expect your partner to be just like you which isn’t realistic.
2. “All good communication in life must begin with communication with God. That’s where truth is found.” ~ Ed Cole
Since God created us all, He’s in a better position to help us understand ourselves and other people. The way I might look at my partner may not be the way God sees them. It’s therefore wise to seek understanding from the Creator of all things.
Marriage is a lifetime journey of getting to understand your partner and it’s made possible by seeking God. By communicating with God first you’ll better understand how to relate to your partner based on His insights. This approach minimizes conflicts and other issues.
3. “As God’s Word is to us, our word is to be to others.” ~ Ed Cole
Imagine how worried you’d be if you were unsure whether or not God will keep His promises to you. We know, however, that God is faithful all the time even when it seems otherwise. If He has given you a promise, you can be sure that it will come to pass. This is the same thing that should happen in a marriage relationship.
Your partner must be able to count on you when you say you will do something. This also applies to giving your word to children; they can’t tell the difference between a broken promise and a lie. When you make it a habit to keep your word it fosters trust in your relationships.
4. “When communication stops, abnormality sets in, and the ultimate end of abnormality is death.” ~ Ed Cole
Communication is the basis of life, and without it, life becomes miserable and nearly impossible. Verbal communication is the most basic form of communication which must be fostered as much as possible in a relationship. Communication often stops when there are unresolved conflicts and that’s why they must be addressed before you sleep.
When you sleep over unresolved conflicts it gives the devil an opportunity to fill your mind with false accusations. This then leads to false assumptions and ultimately a relationship breakdown. This is worse in marriage but it can be prevented by keeping communication lines open.
5. “Sex is the sign of a covenant relationship between a man and a woman. The covenant is why God gave sex only to those who are married.” ~ Ed Cole
Sexual intercourse is a sacred act in the eyes of God that unfortunately has become a form of social pleasure for most young people. It is not just a physical act but a spiritual union of two people through the shedding of blood. If they knew the full implications they might think differently before they engage in premarital sex.
Sex should only be for your lifelong partner to whom you will give yourself unreservedly as God ordained originally. Not only that, it attracts God’s blessing over your life when you and avoid unnecessary heartbreaks and pain later on.
6. “Virginity is part of the uniqueness with which God endowed both men and women in creation. Virginity is a glory to both men and women.” ~ Ed Cole
In this corrupted world that we live in, virginity comes across as shameful yet it’s glorious in God’s eyes. It’s not many people that can say they kept themselves pure before they got married so it’s worth celebrating. Some people only lose their virginity because of peer pressure though in their spirit they know they were wrong.
If that’s the case for you, you may want to dissociate yourself from such people and find other friends. Although it’s hard to believe for some people, there are others who value their virginity you can associate with.
7. “A man has a tendency to see the worth of his manhood in terms of money. But men were meant to fulfil their sense of manhood through a relationship with God, not through material gain.” ~ Ed Cole
When you measure yourself based on your bank account, you’re bound to be miserable most of the time. Money comes and goes all the time and that doesn’t change how valuable you are as a man. Part of this problem comes from societal influence but you don’t need to succumb to it.
When you realize that your value is based on who God says you are, it doesn’t what you have or don’t have. God supplies all your needs after all in situations when you don’t even expect Him to. Money is simply a medium of exchange and not the ultimate.
8. “Prosperity is the natural, sequentially ordered result of righteousness in life. Wherever there is righteousness there is prosperity.” ~ Ed Cole
When you find yourself struggling in life, more often than not, it comes down to violating certain life principles. Life isn’t complicated even though it’s hard; to become prosperous you need to abide by godly principles, that’s it. This could include avoiding certain stages and jumping ahead to stages you’re not yet ready for.
People that violate principles are often trying to take shortcuts to their dreams but burn their fingers in the process. Some try to make a lot of money through gambling or other dubious means but eventually find themselves worse off. The worst part about it is that some people never learn from their mistakes.
9. “You can tell a man’s character better by his use of money than by his way of worship.” ~ Ed Cole
I’ve seen that money talks in different ways for different people as seen by the way they handle it. Money only amplifies what’s already in a person’s heart so it’s neither evil nor good. If you’re a generous person, you’re likely to find opportunities to be generous and bless others.
If you’re lustful, you may end up having multiple sexual encounters simply because of the power money gives you. Whatever the case, don’t allow yourself to get to a point where having more money destroys you. Use it as a tool for good and be careful not to let it master you.
10. “In marriage, a sense of ‘oneness’ is vital. Without it, marriage can become a continual armed conflict. Worse, it can end in divorce.” ~ Ed Cole
There is power in agreement and without it, there’s not much you can achieve in your marriage. Living in constant conflict in your marriage is not a pleasant experience but unity of purpose attracts God’s blessing. The marriage institution has been a major target since the creation of the world and one that needs constant prayer.
Thriving marriages lead to good families and communities which lead to great nations. It’s all made possible when couples walk together in unity with Christ. Where you need help, be sure to seek help from other couples that can assist.