Jimmy Evans is the senior Pastor at Gateway Church in Dallas, Texas in the United States. He’s also the founder of Marriage Today, a ministry that is devoted to helping couples build strong and fulfilling marriages.
Together with his wife Karen they’ve helped numerous couples through the teaching he shares. He’s also authored some books such as Marriage on the Rock and Strengths Based Marriage.
Here are 10 Jimmy Evans quotes that will help you build your marriage:
1. “The greatest marriage is where two servants are in love. A servant spirit is the key to success in marriage & every important relationship.” ~ Jimmy Evans
Marriage is one of the hardest relationships there is to manage but if done well, is the most satisfying. It’s the type of relationship that exposes our selfishness the most, and makes us realize what sacrificial means. The right mindset you need getting into marriage is one of service instead of looking to be served.
When one party, or worse both parties, have the mindset of wanting to primarily be served, it can be disastrous. Serving your partner will make them want to reciprocate your acts of service, and makes both of you happier.
2. “Taking responsibility to build our spouse’s self-esteem is essential in keeping our love alive & keeping a critical spirit from developing.” ~ Jimmy Evans
What affects you as an individual also affects your partner and vice versa, because you are one flesh. That’s why it’s important to support one another through your struggles as a couple. One of the common issues one or the other partners may struggle with is self-esteem, stemming mainly from their childhood.
That might not always be the case but it is in most cases, and it affects other areas of life. The more you can help you partner realize her value as a person, the more confident they will become.
3. “Romance is coming out of our world into our spouse’s world to demonstrate how much we value them and our relationship.” ~ Jimmy Evans
As mentioned earlier, marriages don’t thrive when there’s selfishness in one or the other spouse. It’s a result of our fallen state which is why anchoring on Jesus Christ is key for marital success. Make a conscious effort to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and feel what they feel.
It helps you understand what they like and don’t like, which gives you an idea of how to serve them. When your spouse feels loved, they will be happier, and deepens your love for one another.
4. “Praise is a critical discipline with God & our spouses because it reminds us of our blessings & what it good. What we forget we forfeit.” ~ Jimmy Evans
Among the main causes that destroy marriages, a critical spirit is one of the most damaging. The words you say to yourself or other people have significant effects on their lives, whether positive or negative. Being constantly critical of your partner erodes their self-esteem over time and leads to a marriage breakdown.
This isn’t to say that you cease confronting each other when there are real issues, but to do so lovingly. Take note of the good things your partner does and constantly praise them for it. The more you praise them, the more confident they become and will want to do what’s praiseworthy.
5. “Friendship is the foundation of all good marriages. And the foundation of friendship is having fun & enjoying life together.” ~ Jimmy Evans
Without a foundation of friendship, relationships don’t survive through the challenging times that life presents to us. Solid friendships consist of shared values and a common desire to serve one another to grow in different areas.
Enjoy each other’s company, connect heart to heart, spend time doing activities you both enjoy. Such experiences create life memories you will cherish, and serve to strengthen your relationship and love for one another. Avoid the mistake of marrying someone only for their beauty or other superficial characteristic because they’re always changing.
6. “Marriage is brutal on selfish people. In fact, it is a death chamber for a selfish spirit. Once selfishness dies, marriage thrives.” ~ Jimmy Evans
For anything to thrive and realize its potential, it’s essential that it gets exposed to the right environment. There are crops that can’t been grown in the winter season, and others that can’t grow in rainy environments. The problem isn’t with the seed in question, but the environment to which they are exposed to.
This concept is true of marriage relationships in particular. Selfish people can’t thrive in marriage which requires a great deal of sacrifice for it to thrive. A marriage relationship thrives when both parties are committed to serving one another.
7. “True love cannot be expressed or measured until sacrifice is required. And only to the level of sacrifice can true love be claimed.” ~ Jimmy Evans
Sacrifice is a measure of how much you’re willing to give up to benefit your partner. It’s a matter of dying to self, your own desires and doing what serves your partner and your marriage. What’s harder is that sacrifice isn’t a one-time event and it’s done, but it’s an ongoing process that requires humility.
Since by nature human beings are selfish, it requires submitting yourself to God to love the way he requires. Without the love of God dwelling in your heart, you’ll find it hard to love sacrificially.
8. “Getting what we want doesn’t make us happy. Getting what we need doesn’t make us happy. Contentment makes us happy regardless of getting.” ~ Jimmy Evans
One of the effects of social media is the tendency for people to compare their lifestyles with ones on social platforms. Some disguise greed with a desire for improving their lives and try to justify it with unrealistic demands. This problem if not dealt with has damaging effects on a marriage relationship, and should be avoided.
Learning to be content with what you have not only pleases God, but also makes you happy in the process. Indeed, when you’re content with what you have it makes God want to bless you with more. Without that demeanor, you’ll constantly want more and more and it doesn’t give any lasting satisfaction.
9. “Soul mates aren’t born – they are made. When you stay in the trenches of life with your spouse and don’t give up you become soul mates.” ~ Jimmy Evans
Much of popular culture has people believing that finding your soul mate is almost like a mystical or magic event. That when people meet for the first time they automatically fall in love and the rest is history. That’s a false belief that causes more harm than good in most people’s lives that are pursuing marriage.
For any relationship to work, especially marriage, it requires consistent effort from the parties involved. That’s how you become a soul mate with your husband or wife.
10. “Just because our feelings are real doesn’t mean they are right. We must submit our feelings to Jesus and act above them to be mature.” ~ Jimmy Evans
Following your heart and feelings alone is a dangerous thing that causes a lot of pain in relationships. Feelings make people justify adulterous affairs or other selfish desires without considering the effects on the people under their care.
Submitting them to the Lord keeps you from unnecessary trouble and He will lead you in the right direction. Feelings are powerful communicators but they are not reliable sources, and therefore shouldn’t be the main basis for decisions.